Two horrifyingly embarassing things
Mar. 27th, 2012 06:25 pmI have apparently been sucked into this awful vortex of hockeyfic that is consuming a suprisingly large portion of fandom (I blame ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thefourthvine's recs, and her screamingly funny manifesto.) This is actually painful to me. Not the fic or anything, there's a surprisingly high percentage of good stuff for a tiny fandom and it definitely mostly hits all of my buttons by being about failboat guys who are SO into each other, but just the hockey of it all. Nothing against hockey, you understand, but being into it is doing one hell of a number on my self-perception.
( You have to understand, I am Canadian. )
Hopefully this also serves as an explanation for the hockey people I am probably about two steps away from adding. I am shy, but friendly! I promise to be less defensive about my interest in your fandom in future! Think of it as a compliment to your writing/stockholming/incepting skills that I am unable to resist, rather than an insult to something I do believe you genuinely appreciate for itself?
The other embarassing thing is semi-related: Fucking hell, is there anything more lacerating to the ego than reading one's old writing, no matter how casual? I've been going through my old lj as I am coming to the conclusion that I may need a lj presence to follow this (and probably the Avengers when it comes out and that fandom really explodes. Seriously, I predict current crazy to be a bare minimum of where that shit is going to go. Not that I'm not reading happily now, but damn.) I have now private-locked the hell out of that so there is some possibility that I can use for commenting and maybe cross-posting without having to want to die inside. It's not like the old posts were of any interest to other people, mostly me talking about books and tv and so on because I haven't actually changed all that much, but it is amazing how horrible it is to read that stuff now and remember exactly how young and dumb I was. (If you are reading this in the future, yes, you have permission to link me back to this post and laugh and laugh while I cringe like anything as I'm sure future!me will feel the same about current!me. *sigh*)
thefourthvine's recs, and her screamingly funny manifesto.) This is actually painful to me. Not the fic or anything, there's a surprisingly high percentage of good stuff for a tiny fandom and it definitely mostly hits all of my buttons by being about failboat guys who are SO into each other, but just the hockey of it all. Nothing against hockey, you understand, but being into it is doing one hell of a number on my self-perception.( You have to understand, I am Canadian. )
Hopefully this also serves as an explanation for the hockey people I am probably about two steps away from adding. I am shy, but friendly! I promise to be less defensive about my interest in your fandom in future! Think of it as a compliment to your writing/stockholming/incepting skills that I am unable to resist, rather than an insult to something I do believe you genuinely appreciate for itself?
The other embarassing thing is semi-related: Fucking hell, is there anything more lacerating to the ego than reading one's old writing, no matter how casual? I've been going through my old lj as I am coming to the conclusion that I may need a lj presence to follow this (and probably the Avengers when it comes out and that fandom really explodes. Seriously, I predict current crazy to be a bare minimum of where that shit is going to go. Not that I'm not reading happily now, but damn.) I have now private-locked the hell out of that so there is some possibility that I can use for commenting and maybe cross-posting without having to want to die inside. It's not like the old posts were of any interest to other people, mostly me talking about books and tv and so on because I haven't actually changed all that much, but it is amazing how horrible it is to read that stuff now and remember exactly how young and dumb I was. (If you are reading this in the future, yes, you have permission to link me back to this post and laugh and laugh while I cringe like anything as I'm sure future!me will feel the same about current!me. *sigh*)
